Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Calm - How To Keep Calm on Queue and Maintain Self Control

One of the main causes for people not reaching their full potential is their inability to keep calm and maintain self control. When most people think of a person not having self-control they think of the obvious manifestation. This may be a person who loses his temper or speaks without thinking. Have you ever thought to consider that being anxious is a manifestation of the lack of self-control? Being sensitive and taking offense when others accidentally or deliberately offend you is also a manifestation of the lack of self-control.

I am going to list some common signs and than give you a real and effective tool that will help you in these situations. I have been practicing them and they work like magic.

Outward signs of the "lack of self-control"
1. Over-sensitivity.
2. The feeling of anger, bitterness or unforgiveness towards anyone regardless of how large or small the offense was/is.
3. Anxiety about anything. Literally I do mean anything.
4. The feeling of impatience.
6. Feeling the need to control others and fix them.
7. Judging others actions and behaviors regardless of what it is. Even if they are being self-destructive.
9. The feeling of embarrassment or shame about anything that you have done in the past.
10. The feeling that you need to do something so that others will not judge you.
11. There are more but these are probably the most common.

One of the things to recognize about all of the examples that I listed above are that they are feelings. When you are behaving impatiently you are behaving that way because you FEEL IMPATIENT. You are not an impatient person by birth. You have just allowed yourself to take on these unpleasant emotions. Probably because you have over-extended yourself in other areas. The reason is actually not important.

When you are feeling impatient according to the law of opposites, you have the ability to feel patience. You can simply choose to allow yourself to realize that everything is okay and if this is not completed right now it will not be the end of the world. How can you simply change your feelings on queue? By consciously allowing yourself to feel the impatient feeling and than allowing yourself to feel patience. Let me demonstrate in an exercise.

You are stuck in traffic and you have to be somewhere in 5 minutes. At this point there is nothing you can do to change the situation and it looks like you are about to be 20 minutes late. You are starting to freak out because this is an important meeting and you could be punished for it. Now you are starting to sweat and feel very impatient and fearful as well. There is still nothing you can do. Now you are really panicking. "Oh no.... I really screwed this one up by not leaving earlier!!!  What do I do now??????"

First of all, you are right. At this point there is nothing you can do about it. You have to recognize that the past is in the past and now you are living in the present. You are running late. Do not blame it on the traffic because that will not help your situation. What you need to do is calm yourself. Here is how you do it.

Breathe in and allow yourself to feel impatience, fear and anxiety. This is important because now you are controlling these negative emotions. Say to yourself, "I am feeling impatience, fear and anxiety.”

Next, breathe in again and tell yourself that you are feeling the opposite. Say to yourself, "I am feeling patience, calmness and peace. Everything is going to be okay.

Next, Breathe in again and allow yourself to feel impatience, fear and anxiety again.

Next, Breathe in and allow yourself to feel patience, calmness and peace.

Keep repeating until you are actually feeling patience, calmness and peace. By doing this you will actually cause the negative emotions to disappear.

Now you can calmly call the person you were suppose to meet and let them know that you are running late. Do not make excuses but apologize sincerely. Take responsibility and give them the opportunity to reschedule if it is necessary.

Practice this exercise every time you are feeling a negative emotion. Embrace it consciously and than embrace the opposite. Keep repeating until you are just feeling the positive part. Soon this will become a habit and you will start to do this the second you feel a negative emotion starting to rise up.

This method is called the Sedona Method. For more information and to get a free cd, click on the following link Free DVD and CD - find out how you can tap your natural ability to let go of any unwanted feeling on the spot..
You are another step closer to realizing that you can simply choose to make better decisions for your life. I'm so proud of you and everything is going to be just fine.

Thank God for this very important lesson and go and have a wonderful life.

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Thank you so much for reading and have a super-fantastic day,

~Alisani Brazil, your Happy Kindalista.


  1. Thank you for posting this article. My wife is an educator of special needs students has has shared a similar approach. Her comments to anxious individuals (and our family members) is to recognized the feelings, then relax your tongue. I have focued at relaxing my tongue a few times while feeling stressed and it really works. Please try it.

  2. I have tried this and it really works. Thanks for sharing. mb


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