Friday, February 12, 2010

Top 10 Ways to Deal with "Post Traumatic Valentine's Disorder" (for the ladies)

1.    Have your best guy friend prank call your ex and tell him that he is responding to his same sex classified ad that was posted in The Washington Post and USA Today.

2.    Dress up really nice and take yourself to a fancy restaurant. Make sure you called in advance and made reservations for two.

3.    Have an expensive gift delivered to that restaurant accompanied with a huge card so that everyone in the restaurant can see it.

4.    Read it with a dreamy expression on your face and allow a few tears to well up in your eyes. Let the waiter know that you will need a few sentimental moments to yourself.

5.    Have your best guy friend from step 1 call the restaurant as your boyfriend and tell the hostess that he will not be attending because he suddenly realized that he is gay.

6.    After the hostess relays the message to you, cry very loudly and obnoxiously to ensure that you have kept the attention of everyone in the restaurant ensuring that their time there is just as miserable as yours.

7.    Blow your nose very loudly in one of the crisp, white restaurant napkins.

8.    Go to another table with your napkin and spill your guts to the people sitting there. Make sure it is a couple who probably are on a date. When you leave, conspicuously leave your used napkin on their table.

9.    Before the date, give your guy friend from step 1 the number to your ex’s mom.

10.    Have him call your ex’s mom and tell her that he’s responding to your ex’s same sex ads that were posted in the Washington Post and USA Today. Have him verbally go at it with her for 3 minutes and than have him yell “I’M SO SORRY I OUTED YOUR SON TO YOU!” and than hang up very dramatically.

Yes! Sometimes The Happy Kindalista likes to serve up a plate of crazy and sick humor with a side dish of snarkiness. But hey, You know you got a good laugh out of this one so now go and have a wonderful day!!! ~Alisani, The Happy Kindalista

P.S. If I offended you in anyway I'm sorry. Just remember from my previous blogs that judgment is a negative emotion and should be avoided at all costs. Let this be an opportunity for you to show forgiveness and love to a person who is just ignorant. I'm so proud of you. You have chosen to rise above that negative emotion of indignation and disdain and you have chosen to show love and compassion to a silly girl who likes to do silly things. ;)

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I sincerely appreciate your comments and feedback. Thank you so much. You can enter your comments anonymously if you would like. Have a wonderful day! ~Alisani Brazil